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REMEMBER ME: ROBERT PATTINSON’S SECRET SET DIARY

Remember Me: Robert Pattinson’s Secret Set Diary
Edward. Cedric. Salvador. R-Pattz. Whatever name you know him by, Robert Pattinson is a larger-than-life film icon with larger-than-life hair and a larger-than-is-legal-in-most-venues throng of teenage girls following him wherever he goes. Whether they’ll follow him from his starring role in the Twilight films to his new romance movie Remember Me remains to be seen, but he was clearly thinking about his fans when he made the film, as we can tell from this set diary for which Television Without Pity claimed to pay a lot of money for on eBay. Read on for a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film. (Warning: May not be, in fact, real.)

Day 1
I had to fight through a crowd of girls in the lobby of the hotel, but today I arrived on set and met my two co-stars. Mr. Brosnan was very complimentary of my movies, and I told him I loved his work as James Bond, although I’ve never really seen a Bond film in my life. Emilie de Ravin is apparently on some kind of TV show, but I’m not sure which, since I don’t own a TV.

Day 2
Today we did a read-through, and I brought my own copy of the script, in which I’d written all of Tyler’s dialogue out by hand, so I could feel like it was my own words. It made it feel more real. Some of the words I’d written were hard to make out, because I was crying when I wrote them, so I kinda just mumbled those parts. And I guess I had re-written a few lines where it didn’t feel like something Tyler would say, because the screenwriter looked at me funny once. Hope he’s not too upset.

Day 3
Did a hair test today. I told them I’d be cool with whatever they wanted to do, as long as I didn’t have big Edward hair. Ultimately, we decided that I just wouldn’t wash it, and we’d let it do whatever it was going to do that day. Best film shoot ever!

Day 7
Emilie and I are getting pretty close. We went to a carnival, and she tried to tell me a little bit about her TV show, but it was kind of confusing. She kept talking about “Jacob,” and I was like, “Taylor Lautner’s on your show?” Apparently it’s a different Jacob, and all I know is, it’s about an island. But I invited her to come hear my band play, and she seemed pretty psyched. Hope Kristen doesn’t mind that I invited her, since that’s how she and I started dating. It was different with Kristen, though. …Right?

Day 10
Enjoying hanging out with Ruby Jerins, who plays my little sister. We talk a lot in between takes, and it’s the first conversation I’ve had with a 10-year-old girl that wasn’t about what Edward’s favorite color is, or what Cedric Diggory liked to have for breakfast at Hogwarts.

Day 12
Think I might be falling for Emilie. Today, we had our heads together for a scene, and I totally felt like I could tell what she was thinking, like it was being transmitted through our hair. But then I thought about Kristen, and I think Emilie saw it in my mind, because she kinda ran off the set crying. Man, this whole “not-falling-in-love-with-your-co-stars” thing is tough.

Day 15
Why didn’t anybody tell me Chris Cooper was in this movie? He wasn’t at the read-through, but he apparently plays Emilie’s dad. I loved him in Breach and American Beauty, so in every scene I did with him today, I wasn’t sure if he was going to punch me or kiss me. Either would have been fine!

Day 19
Emilie got some hydrochloric acid on her today — don’t ask! — so I had to get her into the safety shower pretty quick. After we got the hazardous chemicals off of her, we just laughed and laughed. After that, they re-wrote the scene to change it from a science lab to a Starbucks, and I think it reads better now. Also, less hazardous, although watch me spill a hot beverage on myself tomorrow.

Day 22
Kristen stopped by the set today for lunch, and it was super-awkward watching her chatting with Emilie. It got even more awkward when Kristen hung around afterwards to watch us film our love scene. Then it got even more awkward when a crowd of Twihards somehow got through the police barrier and swarmed the set, trying to get autographs from me and Kristen. Poor Emilie didn’t even have a shirt on; luckily, none of the teenage girls watched her show, so she was able to slip away in the confusion.

Day 25
Asked Pierce for advice on my romantic situation, and he pointed out that I had at least a couple more Twilight movies to make with Kristen, while this movie was unlikely to get a sequel. So by nipping things in the bud with Emilie, I’d be making my life easier on those later film shoots. It was good advice, but the whole time he was talking I couldn’t stop staring at his skin. He’s so leathery!

Day 28
After her last day of shooting, I saw Emilie off in a cab. I told her she was a great girl, but I was with Kristen, and what we had together was a franchise, while all Emilie and I would ever have would be a one-off romance. She seemed to understand, but she also told me that if my franchise with Kristen ever lost its box-office earnings potential, she’d be willing to sign a multi-picture deal with me anytime. It was all I could do not to hop in that cab with her, but I had some pick-up shots to do the next day, so I said good-bye and watched her drive away. Then I went back to my room to watch the latest episode of Lost. …I still have no idea what that show is about.

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  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention REMEMBER ME: ROBERT PATTINSON’S SECRET SET DIARY « Passage to Eternity -- Topsy.com

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